Mixed Marriage of Frequent Fliers

My husband and I have a mixed marriage. And when mixing different thoughts, customs and experiences, it can be a collaboration of the best of everything or can make for some contentious conversation … maybe a little of both.

What is this mix in our marriage that I’m talking about? Well, I am a United 1K and Bruce is a Delta Diamond, senior level elite statuses with our respective airlines.

Recently Bruce came over to my neighborhood (maybe he’d call it the ‘dark side’) and was flying with me on United. That in itself is nearly unique because we rarely fly together, more often opting to meet up around the globe.

Having Bruce fly my airline has not only been a new experience but also has been a lighthearted case of “my-airline-is-better-than-your-airline” between us. In this 2-part series, I’ll let you listen in on our conversations as we fly from Orlando to Chicago to Florence, Italy. In the second part, you’ll overhear our talk as we compare lounges – while I sit in the United Club and he sits a few gates away at a Delta Sky Club texting me photos of his lounge.

Overheard on our domestic flights:

Bruce wags his index finger left and right during the United safety video.

Me: “No dear, Deltalina is not part of the United safety video.”

Bruce: “What’s the deal with the tv?”

Me: “Our United flight has onboard satellite tv with tons of television channels to watch.”

Bruce: “But how come my movie has already started? Where’s the AVOD (audio visual on demand)?”

Me: “No dear, this is satellite tv so it’s like watching television at home. Go look at the Guide and you’ll see what time the movie started.”

Bruce: “But Delta has AVOD so I can begin my movie whenever I want to, not get a movie that’s already underway. Why would I ever want to start watching a movie in the middle?”

Me: “Oh so what. You’ve already seen this movie tons of times anyway.”

Bruce: (with a wry smile) “Okay, I’ll pass on the movie since it already started. I’ll just get on the Wi-Fi. Oh wait…”

Ugh, he just had to get that in. Delta offers Wi-Fi on all its two-cabin domestic flights while United is, well, a bit behind.

Bruce: “Where’s my bottle of Dasani water?”

Me: “United doesn’t give us bottles of water. Just ask for a glass of water and you’ll get it.”

Bruce shakes his head back and forth.

Me: “On United, you actually get real food for breakfast, not just a snack basket. Just wait till the cinnamon rolls come around!”

Bruce: “I gotta admit the cinnamon roll was excellent. And the egg sandwich was okay, though I do prefer Delta’s omelette (only available on long domestic flights). By the way, did you get a blanket? I don’t see blankets. Delta always has a blanket and pillow in each first class seat.”

Me: “Just ask. I’m sure they have blankets. But pillows are history. Do you want a blanket?”

Bruce: “No, I’m fine. Just sayin’.”

Bruce: “Now I do like Channel 9 (ability to listen in on the conversation with the pilot and air traffic control) . Delta doesn’t have this.”

Me: Silently saying YES! Score 1 for United!

Stayed tuned for Part II as the contention, I mean ‘discussion’, continues in the airline lounge.

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